I haven’t been making much progress because I have been eating a bit more than Usual. I’m very sad that my arms are losing weight so rapidly whereas my legs are still hardly going down. It is recess now and because I binge ate in the morning, I have to control my food intake for the rest of the day. I am not going to eat my lunch during recess but after school instead so that it can last me through my training. I only ate vegetable biscuit and I am extremely hungry now but I am going to pull through yes I can do it and I will be able to wear skinny jeans!!!!!!!!!
Recently my stomach has been having this kind of pain and I don’t even know why 😦 I’m not exactly sticking 100% to my diet I do eat more than 1200 like eg exceeding by a banana, a piece of bread etc. I am hoping that I will not become reliant and continue my diet on my own so I really need to build up on my self discipline. I just finished my recess today and I still feel a bit hungry so I must tell myself I can do this and I don’t really need the food? Like my body is taking in enough nutrients and I should be glad that I have food to eat 🙂
Sigh pie i left school early today and now i am at junction 8 and literally fml cos that place has bread talk four leaf takoyaki jollibean and i want to eat blueberry and chocolate muffins brownies tuna bread red bean bun octopus and peanut pancake srsly i am dying rn cos i know i’m not supposed to eat any of such unhealthy food because it is not even nutritious for my growth and will only hunder my progress. Rmb one more mth only pull yourself throigh this month you’ll definitely see resukts and maybe kaizi will tell you yknow!!!!!!! ^^
Okay I am going to be honest, today’s lunch was downright DISGUSTING. my mom didn’t go to the mixed rice stall to buy the dishes (I told her to buy vegetables only) but instead she went to the vegetarian stall. Their style of cooking us slightly different in the sense that they cook a salty base of bee Hoon to eat with the plain dishes so that it balances out. I didn’t want to eat carb for my lunch therefore I only asked my mom to buy the vegetables. And they were gross. They were so plain I just couldn’t omg ugh I know it’s healthy but seriously I’d rather much eat something that tastes much nicer and is equally healthy. Thank god I had my avocado and at the end I ate it with a bit of biscuit so my lunch pretty much ended on a good note. The avocado made me really really full so I don’t think I will be craving anything throughout the day tbh. I honestly just want to say that my belly is so full, I think I should be thankful for the fact that I have food to eat and not complain. The fact that i can fill myself up with nutrition, I should be simply thankful for that. I am going to be very contented with what I eat today for the rest of the day because I I literally feel like exploding now because I ate a good meal so I should be happy ☺️☺️☺️
I think I need to be more disciplined with myself. So far, the peanut butter ban that I have made myself do is going very well, even on days where I feel like binging and I actually binge, I am able to stay away from it. Today, I am going to set myself new bans that I have to stick to, just like the peanut butter ban. With one month left from csc, I really have to make a revolutional change in my body so that I can be skinny!!! It’s just for one month, I can do this!!!!!!
1) Hong Piah
2) Mr bean ice cream/ice cream/frozen yogurt/soft serve
3) Tau Sar Piah
4) Scones (wow this one is really really tough idk now I am even going to stick through this but I think I will work really hard to pull through!)
5) any biscuit other than whole wheat biscuit
I really promise that I will stick to this and make a change in my body, I will do it!
OKAY THIS STARTS TMR I PROMISE I WILL DEF DO IT JUST LIKE THE PEANUT BUTTER BAN I CAN DO IT I CAN I CAN I CAN
Guys, times have been really tough for me lately and I realised that for the time that I have been missing on this blog I actually have been slipping into an unhealthy eating disorder phase. I feel really really disgusted with myself because as usually today I binge as it was the weekends and it wasn’t even food that I needed to eat or that I was hungry. I just kept eating I don’t even know why. I probably consumed more that 3 times the calories I was supposed to and I just couldn’t stop myself, I just kept on stuffing my face with food. I haven’t been making progress and I feel very very very disappointed in myself but I have to remind myself to keep on going and never give up. I know I have had it pretty bad these few days but I promise myself I will definitely be a new person tmr. I will try.
Lol guys I’m back to 50kg can you believe it? After I binged during the weekend all that I lost went to waste. From now on, regardless of whether it is the weekend or not, I shall not stuff my face with unnecessary food. I am allowed 1200 calories on the weekdays and 1500 during the weekends. Starting from new week onwards I am going to make a change in my life and make sure I make it a good habit. Seriously can’t stand my slacky attitude wtf.
Aish sighpie… I hate the weekends, I don’t know why but I seem to always use the excuse that because it is the weekends I am allowed to eat more… And sometimes it’s not even because I’m hungry, I just want to stuff my face with food because for some weird reason it comforts me???? I really should stop this very bad habit of mine and I am going to start NOW. For every week, I understand that I should give myself a rest day, so, I am going to allow myself on Saturday ONLY to consume up to 1700 calories, however the rest of the days of the week I have to strictly stick to 1200 esp on Fridays since I always always slack off and this is very bad. I need to learn that stuffing my face with food is not good for my body and it doesn’t even need the nutrients!!! (The food I binge on is all unhealthy fats really I am so ashamed 😓😩) so, from next week onwards I have to work extra hard. I will be gg to japan in 3 months time and by then I MUST be able to wear jeans I don’t care, I must do it. I can’t give up.
Hahaha I think there has been many kinds of food that I just simply reach for because I just want to comfort myself but I then realise that my body doesn’t even need it and I am hurting myself by binging on such rubbish. Every time I binge in something (eg like eating 3 muffins at one shot) I feel extremely terrible after that I kinda have this very sick feeling in me at that moment where I don’t ever want to eat that particular food ever again. So right at that moment I record down my feelings on how I feel to make sure that I don’t ever do it again. (Lol people will probably criticise me for writing such stuff and think that I have some serious problems like why can’t you just be happy and eat food it’s the most beautiful thing on earth blah blah but yknow 😦 that’s why I write in this blog where no one will know)
So here it goes!
Food that I shouldn’t eat cos it’s disgusting
Hershey white chocolate bar, it isn’t as nice as it sounds anymore trust me I ate it and it was very heavy and sticky and felt like I was eating sugar fats
Mcdonalds, one word and you know it, disgusting, all oil and food that isn’t probably isn’t even food. Chicken nuggets are mashed up whole chicken and your fries is all processed.
Muruku, don’t need to even be jealous that there is so much of it cos it isn’t even nice. The taste is dry and numbs your mouth. Awful. Got such a fishy aftertaste too.
Bee Hoon, disgustingly fatty noodles that are so unhealthy and oily ew
Vegetable biscuits, taste kinda funny now like quite ugh
Bread talk muffins, just forget it you miss the old one and now is nothing like it not buttery not fluffy and the raisins are so measly it’s not even worth a muffin calorie. Btw the chocolate one isn’t even any better it is so dry and so little chocolate chips. If you want to eat muffins only waste the calories on the one frm bukit timah if not don’t. Rmb you want skinny thighs!!!!!!
Bubble tea, it is basically just colouring and sugar water. If you want such drinks just add some sugar to water and see if your thighs will absorb up all that sugar and convert it to fats or not
Old Chang kee, all processed foods fried in deep dirty dripping oil so gross like fats
Chocolate, nah don’t eat the whole thing it will make you have that sticky numb feeling in the mouth with is very gross and disgusting it’s not even really that nice anyway. Anyway chocolate a little but got so much sugar it will expand all your fats, ask yourself you want fats or skinny thighs???
Peanut butter, rodent hair and insects yucks gets all sticky and numb and oily and fatty you sure you want to eat it? Ewwww confirm will fat one
Scones from cedele and four leaves they are bland and dry and the four leave one is too fluffy it’s not really like a scone so it’s not even worth the calories. Don’t eat it seriously if you want a scone just buy the mama one if not don’t eat it you will regret cos you will be fat for sth that is not even nice
CRIES my mom bought four leaves scones and there are still so many left I am very tempted to eat one but I shouldn’t. 1) yesterday was a major binge day already so I should go back to being disciplined today and not fall back into a food coma again 2) I don’t even really really really like four leaves scones THAT much it’s just that I am a sadist and I just want to satisfy my cravings. (Ps I will only eat mama scones from now on, they are cheap and good!!!!! 😍😍😍) 3) they are too fluffy for a scone and they are a bit dry. It’s not even really worth the calorie intake 4) if I can say no to this it means that my mind is strong enough to make a comeback after a failure. It is something that I will need to continue making more progress so I should start NOW. SAY NO TO SCONE WEI YEE. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.