TGIF binge eating

Okay guys, I’m very ashamed of myself. On Friday, I was so relieved because it was the end of the week and I had a full week of intense dieting. Starting from early in the morning, I ate more than I was supposed to and in the afternoon I actually went to buy scones and red bean bun for me to snack on. Little did I know that when I went home my mom had also bought more food (curry bun, red bean bun, sushi, banana) and I was so full, I had a FOOD COMA. A FKING FOOD COMA GUYS. I was so full, my stomach was on the brink of exploding and throughout the entire training I was unable to move much. It felt awful, not nice at all and I think it has taught me an important lesson not to be greedy. Today is Saturday, and I am prepared to start anew even though it is the weekends and I know that I will eat more. For breakfast, I had a red bean bun, kaya with biscuit and a scone. It’s a whole lot more than what I’m supposed to eat but I guess I won’t be snacking for the rest of the day anymore because I am really too full. I guess in life there are times where there will be too much on the platter and we just have to control ourselves yknow? I don’t need it, so I shouldn’t force myself to it just because it is there. I have learnt an important lesson and I never want to experience a food coma again because it is such a horrible experience. I want to be fit and lean and skinny!!!!!!

Advertisements

Red Bean Buns

Red bean buns. Sigh, where do I even begin? No I’m not talking about just any old red bean bun you can find, it has to be of the finest quality made from azuki red beans. Another sigh. 😍😍😍 These buns are EVERYTHING. the filling inside is just nice a little chunky and the sweet flavour together with a plain yet fluffy bun- oh my god I’m drooling as I write. They are good for my soul, but not so good for my thighs HAHA. These kinds of buns are actually quite high in sugar because the filling inside, that delicious red bean paste, is oh so so sinful. 😭😭 My mom gets them from a shop called mama patisserie, and I WOULD KILL TO HAVE THEIR RED BEAN BUNS. They are always very generous with the filling inside so that gains lots of plus points 😍😍😍 BUT let’s head back to the main point, SO, right now I am having major cravings AGAIN SIGHPIE, and I really want to eat the red bean bun that my mom has bought but of course, I can’t because it is after dinner time and I have also exceeded my calorie intake for the day. Moderation is key, I must limit myself, control the greedy monster in me that wants to binge eat. Mind over matter!!!!

20140731-195350-71630426.jpg

A little teensy weensy bit of progress????

HOLLA, okay every since I’ve started this blog I think it has been a very good way for me to get out the negativity and that means I don’t feel like I’m pitying myself all the time which equals to less binging!!!! (I binge eat when I feel that my life sucks hahah) so far so good, I have been doing quite well in terms of sticking to my diet, I am going to meet some difficulties tmr, as my mom bought both a scone AND a red bean bun for my breakfast (if you know me I can’t say no to both, I just CANTπŸ˜₯) so that means in order to stick to my daily calorie intake I have to cut down on my other forms of snacking for the day sighpie that will be hard 😦 but I think I will be able to do it, (hopefully) as I have started to feel much more positive about my body, I see this more as a lifelong journey instead of a crash diet. I am also a bit more patient, I seem to have a “take it slow” mindset now- it appears that I’m confident that whilst I may not see much progress now, I will in the soon future!! I’m starting to see a very slightly progress, so that’s good, I wish that I can make heaps more so I’m definitely not going to give up now!!!! 😀😀 I have come this far in my journey, so cannot εŠι€”θ€ŒεΊŸπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ if I can conquer tmr, it means that I have a strong mind and I would have crossed another hurdle!! YES I CAN I CAN DO THIS πŸ‘πŸ’ͺ

Horrible Thoughts Collection (July)

29/7 8.40pm
Feeling a very very very strong urge to eat something like a sweet but I know I’m not supposed to. I can do this!!! I must restrain from my sugar cravings. πŸ˜”πŸ˜₯😫 I. WILL. NOT. EAT.

8.47pm
NOOOOOOOO I SAW THAT MY MOM BOUGHT DUKE’S BAKERY BREAD OMG I LOVE THE BREAD SO MUCH MUST NOT EAT IT BC BREAD IS LIKE THE WORST CARB EVER ESP NOW ITS NIGHT TIME SO IT BASICALLY A SIN FOOD NO I MUST NOT EAT IT I WILL EAT IT FOR BREAKFAST TMR NO NO NO RESIST THE URGE ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DYING OMG 😭😩😒

30/7 11.52am
ARGH can’t decide if I should eat 1 or 2 packets of vegetable biscuits omggg helppp I shouldn’t eat so much right!!! Okay I won’t eat it I will just eat one after training during tuition class I can tahan one. YES I CAN DO IT πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

10.36pm
Gosh, I’m really hungry and I really want to eat some food. Mummy bought an entire big packet of Hong piah again?!?!? WALAO. 😦 I really want to eat it man, but it is sooooo unhealthy for me. I’m really having quite big cravings right now, but I’ve brushed my teeth already so I think that will stop me. Really looking forward to breakfast tmr but because of the unhealthy scone, I can’t eat much tmr so 😭πŸ˜₯πŸ˜“πŸ˜’πŸ˜« ARGH THIS IS TOUGH GOSH.

31/7 7.48am
Oh shit I stuff ate in the morning today then I finished eating my snacks, meaning I ate both the scone and the red bean bun and I don’t have anything for snacking for the rest of the day anymore sighpie. 😦 I couldn’t stop because these two are my weakness. 😭 as long as I just only stick to my banana as my only snack of the day then I will be fine. Haish it’s so tough man!!! 😫

11.10am
I just had my lunch but I don’t know why today I’m still feeling very hungry even though I’ve eaten sighpie. 😦 aish and then I don’t even have any more snacks for the rest of the day except one banana before my training later siannn. Actually I could still eat a vegetable biscuit la. I shall buy it then that’s it for the snacks for today!

1.17pm
Dying in class right now because I am hungry and I really want to eat my banana but I can’t because I need to save it until after school if not I will have nothing to eat 😦 gosh this is quite torturous I feel like giving in already but I musnt. 😫😫😫

My Love For Sweet Potatoes

You know when you love someone/something to the point where it can become unhealthy? This is exactly what I’m currently facing with sweet potato now HAHHAA. yeah I know, it’s a health food, so it shouldn’t be a problem if I eat a lot of it right? Wrong. I’m the kind of person who gets crazy obsessions and I swear I could finish like 10 sweet potatoes (I’m not even exaggerating here guys) if my mom had enough stock for me omg. I don’t even crave for fast food, sweet desserts, or other kinds of “sin food” as much as I crave for sweet potatoes!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT SO MUCH. HAHAHA I really need to control myself, my love for food can sometimes really get out of hand. 😂😅

image

HOLLA LOOK AT THESE BABIES HEHE 💕😍😘

P.s update on late night snacking: I survived yesterday night!!!! Didn’t eat a single thing after I bruised my teeth, surprisingly, I was pretty full after dinner so I didn’t really feel the need to consume food. Water kept me pretty sastisfied. 😌

Late Night Snacking Problems

I eat when I’m bored. This is a HUGE problem because for me, I do my homework at night, and homework to me is 😪😪😪 sooooo I tend to snack a lot at night, especially after dinner. 😦 this is a problem because one is not supposed to consume food late at night because apparently your body will tuned to store more fats as compared to during the day. I’m not talking about little snacks like a couple of grapes etc here and there, I have serious self control problems *sobs* I can eat peanut butter sandwiches, kaya biscuits, tau sar piah, chocolates, fruits and the list goes on. (Confession: I once ate like 3 hong piah on top of other stuff at like 11pm I am disgusting)
image
JUST LOOK AT THE DISGUSTING EVIDENCE OMG (PLUS HERSHEY CHOCOLATE TOO OMG SRSLY FML)

so you see I have a very severe problem and I really wish for my to get rid of this bad habit that I have, not just because I’m cutting down on my food intake right now, but I want it to be part of my lifestyle. I think it’s not very healthy for me to binge eat, especially late at night. More often that not, I do not actually need the food that I’m binging on, it’s an impulsive thing and I just keep stuffing my face with food to comfort myself even though my stomach is about to explode. I always feel very ashamed of myself and I bury the evidence after I eat (not very nice for my mom to see all the wrappers because I have told her to cut down my meals portion and she wasn’t very happy about it). I’m going to make myself a promise here and it’s going to be all official in black and white so I can’t cheat πŸ™‚

Here it goes:
I, Chin Wei Yee, promise not to consume any food after dinner and fruits intake. No matter how small it is, be it grapes/a small sweet/a slice of banana cake I MUST NOT EAT IT.

Phew, that was hard HAHAH ok I’m so lame but we’ll see how it goes!! I hope I will slowly make it a good habit hehehe. I plan to brush my teeth right after my food intake at night and then if I’m really bored and I crave for food, I should go and get a cup of water to fill me up πŸ™‚

My Progress Thus Far

Okay, I’ve started my “weight loss” journey at the end of may and it has been kind of around 2 months now. I’m glad that there has been progress (yay!! :-)) although at the moment it is has been very tough, I really dont know why I’m having some weight gain and my progress has been quite stagnant, so I thought maybe I should do a small throwback cos maybe it will make me feel more positive about this entire journey πŸ™‚

So below, on the right in before and the left is after!!! 

image

Not a whole lot of difference but at least there is some. I’ve just got to tell myself that this will take time and I have to be patient with the results. I can do it!!!!!!!!

Diet Outline:
1200-1500 calories on avg per day
Less carbs (mainly unhealthy ones like white bread and white rice)
Cut down on excessive sugars, fats, oily food etc
No consumption of food after 9
(A bit more personal: no peanut butter/cookie butter. I’ve had MAJOR struggles with this, I cant stop myself once I’ve started hahah I finished one jar in less than a week ALL BY MYSELF HOLY SHIT. So far so good, no strong temptations :-))